The third

“YAAAAAAAAAAAWN!”

“Don’t yawn in my face, you shitty, little, brat.”

“But I’m boooooored!”

“Right, is that why we are here?”

“Yes! I, that is Ora, the great and magnificent have decided to grace these poor mortals with my presence once more!”

“Didn’t the other brats kick you out last time?”

“No, the cyborg cat did. She still has to suck up the ghost host, so I couldn’t intervene.”

“Right. I understood these words.”

“But then I realized something.”

“…”

“I’M AN INVINCIBLE OMNIPOTENT GODDESS! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!”

“Cool. Why am I here?”

“Because you’re the funny one from which I bounce my witty banter back and forth!”

“What happened to the devil bitch from last time?”

“Oh, that was just a part time job. Femto said she got another gig as some special consultant for problematic seasons? I doubt we see her again.”

“Cool.”

Anyway! You’re hired again, Cherry. Good for you!”

“Right. So, which season of Harem Hotel are we reading this time?”

“Eh, I’m bored of that.”

“What?”

“I’m sick of those stupid Harems in their stupid Hotels. This time we are reading something that’s actually good! A fantasy story with magic and swords! Doesn’t that sound awesome?”

“Sounds generic as fuck.”

“YOU’RE GENERIC AS...WHATEVER! START THE REVIEW!”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

"Sir I need you inside me." Edin whisper softly. You looked at him and saw the soft blush on his face. He was wearing a robe like you had been. If he wanted you that badly you might as well use him now. You grabbed his arm and pulled him onto your lap having him face the women before you as you lift his robe. He let out a yelp of surprise as you position him pressing your cock between his cheeks. That he was naked just proved to you that you were making the correct decision.

“Eeeeeep!”

“Ok, great. Another story we start right on the middle and this one has...wow 450 chapters. Great.”

“W-why are these two boys having s-sexual relations with each other, Cherry?”

“Because this is a porn story?”

“B-But they are both boys!”

“…”

“Boys can’t do that sort of stuff with each other. That’s super lewd!”

“Which year do you think it is, you shitty little brat?”

You don't really care and lift Edin up. The feel of his tight well trained hole clenching around you makes you moan in pleasure. When only the tip is left inside you lower him. You are moving slowly because enough of you is aware that Edin needs to adjust before you can fuck him the way you want to and know he wants you to.

“Awawawawawawawawa….”

“Can you not make that noise?”

“But this is super explicit!”

“This is a porn story!”

“m-M-Moving on!”

When you enter the building you are caught but a voice. "Good even Christopher." Wilfred said.

You look over and see him grinning at you. "Ah yeah, I think so." You answer a little unsure yourself. "Oh about a new."

“Cherry, what does this assembly of letters mean to convey to us?”

“Beats me. The writing here is pretty ass.”

“And there is way too much sex! In the butt!”

As Stephanie arrives you feel an anticipation in the crowd and your fellow students. Something is going to happen and you seemed to be the only one who didn't know what that something was.

“Ok, this is better! As long as it doesn’t involve anything with butts!”

“Actually the next title spoils it. They are having a duel.”

“A non butt duel!”

“...can you stop?”

“Hmph, that’s not too exciting! They are having duels in Harem Hotel all the time! And they aren’t sexual there either! How lame!”

“Make up your fucking mind!”

“You may only challenge someone that is two ranks higher or two ranks lower”

“Twelve walked in front of Eleven and issued her challenge”

“Good job guy in the comments pointing that blunder out! I will reward you with a complimentary penguin plush present for your services!”

“What’s really fucked up is that the author hasn’t corrected that mistake, despite it being months since it was pointed out. Clean up your story, you lazy shit!”

“As expected of my maid! She likes things tidy!”

“Ah, shut up.”

“Ok, so they are doing some fighting and Chris has to fight with his eyes closed, but he is super strong so that shouldn’t be an issue for him!”

"You can't beat her. She's found your weakness." Stephanie said. The audience lets out more confused grumbling. but Stephanie doesn't elaborate. You can't think of what that is but if the duel's over then at least you can't accidentally hurt, her ... Oh that weakness. You walk back to the seats taking the second place. Asune does not you. She walks in front of Anastasia and challenges her.

“Eh?”

“Guess he isn’t willing to murder someone in a practice match, so he lost.”

“Oh ok, that makes sense.”

“What? No, it doesn’t, you shitty, little brat.”

“Not being able to kill your opponent with your eyes closed is a fatal flaw, Cherry.”

"That's not the point. The point is that this is a practice duel. Training."

“Hmph, sounds like an excuse to me. Typical Cherry. Always making excuses why she lost to me.”

“Haah...next up...”

“Uh! Chris lost his clothes! How embarrassing! Isn’t that embarrassing, Cherry?”

“Not really. I mean, his butler brings him new clothes pretty much right away.”

“Which is super lame! I want to watch him run around the academy while all the girls are making fun of him!”

“I’m sure you do. Oh, something exciting is happening(maybe) Chris is stalked by a Goddess. The very same who isekaied him into this world in the first place.”

“The brats already went over the backstory, so I’m not going to repeat it. Basically Chris is some old dude who get reborn into this world as a baby and there are two Goddesses that want to use him as a champion to beat up the other champions!”

“I thought you said you wouldn’t repeat it...”

“Also, these Goddesses are kinda rude, just abducting people like that.”

“You’re doing the same thing, you shitty little brat!”

“Eh, I usually don’t yank them into different worlds though.”

“You literally did that with this Harem shit.”

“Yeah...but like that was just once. And anyways! You should take an example with Chris! He doesn’t mind the whole Goddess challenge bringing him into another world thing!”

“He is indeed extremely chill about it.”

“Yeah, I when you first found out. You totally freaked out and wet yourself like a baby!”

“…”

You might die here.

"Nice to see you again Christopher." Isabelle said with a smile that didn't reach past the bottom of her nose.

You might be skinned alive and die here.

"Sit." Anastasia growled her aura was controlled but barely, that much seething anger was hard to hide. She was by the closest window and Isabelle was on the far window. You very carefully moved inside and sat between them. Anastasia didn't turn to look at you but Isabelle watched you move her aura as cold as ever.

You will be skinned alive and die here.

“Heh, writings pretty dogshit most of the times, but once in a blue moon the author is capable of producing some amusing lines.”

“WHY ARE BOTH OF THESE GODDESSES CALLED CLARE! IT’S SUPER ANNOYING!”

“Please don’t shout.”

You fall back onto the bed and open your eyes. Why can't picking a Goddess be an easy decision and why think about this now. The Second had given you until tomorrow and the First had given you til, well now actually. You needed to come to a decision.

“You should pick me. Me! I’m the best Goddess around!”

“Next couple of chapters are spend with Chris waffing about which Goddess he should pick to be the champion of. I get it’s a big decision but the way it’s presented is really annoying. This guy needs a kick in the ass. Hard.”

"Now you two both want me to be a champion but regardless of who I pick, if either, I don't want a vengeful Goddess telling her champion to murder me out of spite.

The two sisters looked at each other then at you. "We would do that Christopher." Clare the First said.

“So, they are going to tell their champion to murder him out of spite?”

“And that’s why proper spelling is so important, you lazy bum.”

“Enough about Goddesses! When he isn’t thinking about them he...he does stuff with Edin in his sleep! T-that’s super scandalous!”

“Oh yeah, we skipped over most because the brat can’t handle it. But there is a lot of sex in this. Chris really fucks his way through the whole academy. It’s kinda weird that Edin is the only other male he does it with though.”

“M-more important! Goddess pick time! Finally, If that review ended before that I would be super annoyed!”

Opening the door you walk over to the beds. Edin is asleep in his and sit on it reaching up to gently stroke his hair. He stirs and looks at you through sleepy eyes. It takes a second before he recognises you and smiles sleepily. You lean down and kiss his forehead. He goes immeditaly back to sleep. His ability to regain unconsciousness is something to marvel at.

“This boy’s always asleep! No wonder he gets molested so often!”

The indigo is soon thrown away

“Hey! Spoilers!”

“Oi.”

“And now there is just this long section of Chris getting dressed! Ugggghhh! Just skip forward!”

“Already getting bored?”

“I don’t get how these two brats can do this for years. Seriously!”

“Ok, so in the end Chris picks Clare the first as Goddess. And yes, that’s what we are calling them. Clare, the first and Clare, the second.”

“Which won’t get annoying, ever!”

“Right. Well Goddess picked. Should have some fun ramifications down the line but for now there is more fucking to do. This time with Vatarie.”

“Who’s that again?”

“I think she’s the wild wolfish one? There's also the psycho(which we skipped) and the princess.”

“Oh, right. That one. Kinda struggle to keep track of all these useless Glup Shittos.”

“Doesn’t help that they have name such as Black and Blue, and the above mentioned two Clare’s. Doesn’t help that half the story takes place in fancy estates or baths either. It all blends together a bit.”

“Well, yeah sure, But we have made it to fifty chapters, so we’re done!”

“Cool beans.”

“Cherry, what do you think about this story?”

“Didn’t I just say that?”

“I mean yeah, but do it like, in a more funny roast like fashion!”

“The grammar’s ass. No two ways about it. Spelling errors happen but 90% of this could be fixed by running it through google docs. There is no excuse here but lazyness.”

“And there’s too much sex!”

“The sex stuff wasn’t too bad actually. I liked the gentle femdom with Vatarie towards the end.”

“Oh my, you are into femdom, Cherry? Hehehehe. How embarrassing...”

“It could do with a bit more variety though. Lot’s of fucking a sleeping Edin.”

“I think the plot with the two Goddesses and the champions could be fun! But it takes a lot of time to get going!”

“Considering the amount of chapters in this story, I’m not holding my breath for the pacing to get better.”

“Ok and that’s it! Good night!”

“I’m not doing this again.”